Back Roads

Grey Friday

2008-11-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

By all accounts, I should be feeling rather down today. It's cold, grey, snowy and foggy, all at the same time. However, I keep reminding myself that today is Friday. There are merely hours to go before it's the weekend and I can spend time with my family.

As as addict I guess I have made a conscious decision to make FRIDAY, my Higher Power. That's the beauty of Friday. No matter how bad your day is going, you have the knowledge and hope that tomorrow is going to be a better day.

Now if I could only figure out how to tap in to this same sort of Hope, on a Monday or Tuesday. I think the key is to learn how to create our own happiness. Let's face it, Monday's suck! The promise of a weekend, seems light years away. However, there is hope if we are able to focus on the daily promises that I for one take for granted.

Here are a few of the promises that I can look forward to today...

1. In a couple of hours I plan to call my good friend Don and find out how his day is going.
2. At lunch time I may just have to get away from my desk and go sit in my car, where I'm able to listen to my favorite radio talk show.
3. At any time I can stand up and go joke with a co worker.
4. If I stay sober, i am going to feel SO much better about ME at the end of this day.
5. Despite all my shortcomings, there are actually people in this world who love me.

I hope you all have a fantasy day.

Palin Says Thanks but NO THANKS to Being Gay

2008-10-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

To be Gay or Not to Gay. That is a choice we've all had to make in our lives. Some of us flip a coin or straw straws, while others seek the advice of a family doctor or insurance agent.

In a interview with CBS anchor Katie Couric, Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin addressed her own struggles with this issue.

When asked about her church's decision to sponsor an event called "Pray out the Gay", Palin said, "And you know, I don't know what prayers are worthy of being prayed.... But as for homosexuality, I am not going to judge Americans and the decisions that they make in their adult personal relationships. I have one of my absolute best friends for the last 30 years happens to be gay, and I love her dearly. And she is not my 'gay friend,' she is one of my best friends who happens to have made a choice that isn't a choice I would have made. But I am not going to judge people."

I don't know about Sarah Palin, but when I finally had to make a choice as to my sexual preference, I just sat down and made a list of pros and cons for being gay, as well as a list of pros and cons for being straight. For me be the biggest con for being gay was having to openly voice my love for Cher. I'm sorry, but I just can't imagine putting myself through that sort of pain and embarrassment. So I made the choice to be straight.

I think we all have to appreciate the fact that Evangelicals like Sarah Palin are not going allow themselves to judge other people. It's so crazy to me that the liberal media wants to insinuate that just because Evangelicals see homosexuality as a perversion that needs to be prayed away to prevent a person from burning in a lake of fire for eternity, that they are somehow being judgement. Give me a break!

Struggling

2008-09-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling very addictive today. It's as if I'm the most insignificant form of life on the planet. Have you ever felt this way?

I hate that I don't have a passion for anything. I observe life going by. It seems that other people are actually engaged and have a sincere interest in their surroundings. Not me. Why is that? What's wrong with me?

I need to remind mymelf that my worst sober day is still better than my worst "acting out" day. I hate this addiction so much.

How to make Something out of Nothing

2008-05-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

This is where I need some help. As an addict, one thing that I really struggle with is boredom. You mix in a little depression with your boredom and it's the perfect recipe for disaster. At least for me. One bit of advice someone gave me was to "always live in the moment" and to "make the most out of every moment of every day". Ok, that sounds GREAT. But how do I apply this theory to MY life? Like many people I spend about 8 hours a day, sitting at a cubical. My question is: How do I take the "nothingness" I feel at my cube and turn it into "somethingness"?

I have tried a couple of things, like spinning in my chair and screaming "Weeeeeeeee!" This only seems to annoy the people around me. I've also tried not wearing pants to work on casual Fridays. This does seem to work, as far as getting me away from the cubical. On the other hand, I end up spending most of the day in the HR directors office.

I'd welcome any words of wisdom.

Thanks!

Tim

Hmmm?

2008-05-08T09:31:00.000-07:00

"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"
- Stephen Levine

To Believe or NOT to Believe

2008-05-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hold on to something!!! Here comes my first Blog post. (I'm actually tingling a little)

I think I'll start with a question that's been torturing my soul for about 35 years now. I would LOVE to have someone clear this up for me, but I doubt that will happen. This is more a questoin to ponder, not a question that actually has an answer.

Is there any benefit in searching for God?

I've been looking to unravel this mystery for as long as I can remember. What I've found is that searching for God does not necessarily bring a person serenity. Instead it can lead to frustration, over eating (especially those baked Cheetos! YUM) and honestly it can lead to a feeling of hopelessness.

What do you think?